ave maria

i haven't had caffeine in 24 hours and i already have a headache. serves me right for drinking so much diet coke. time to get off of it. for good. forgive my crankiness in the coming days.

random thoughts.

Oh how I love the feeling of new socks. Thanks to Costco, I have nine new pairs sitting in my drawer just waiting to fill my feet with joy and comfort. I just love buying in bulk.

It is strange to live in a place where you can plant flowers at the end of October and expect them to flourish immediately.

Yesterday my aunt and I went to the Kimbell Art Museum in Fort Worth for a lovely Caravaggio exhibit. Caravaggio is definitely one of my favorites so we jumped at the chance to see some of his works. This was one probably my favorite painting displayed:

Caravaggio: John the Baptist (c. 1604)

John looks so serious and almost melancholy in this depiction, which I find interesting. My aunt made the observation that perhaps this is a moment when John the Baptist truly feels the weight of his mission as one preparing the way for Jesus Christ. I don't know about you, but that duty would certainly weigh heavily on my shoulders. Can I just say: I. love. art.

schwestern, schwestern uber alles.

"Sisters, sisters, never were there such devoted sisters."

If you're wondering where Irving Berlin got his inspiration for these lyrics, look no further than the female offspring of J & J Siebach-- Sars-toki, Fo, Peeps, and me (Kee). With one sister at UW-Madison, one at Notre Dame, one at Georgetown, and me here in Texas we don't get to see each other nearly as much as I would like, but in this instance absence truly makes the heart grow fonder. I no longer approach Thanksgiving and Christmas as a time for food and presents-- it is time to spend with my sisters. I would be perfectly happy with a turkey-less Thanksgiving and a present-less Christmas as long as I get to laugh, yell, sing, and dance with my sisters. No three people understand me and make me as happy as they do. I'm sure most people believe they have the best sisters in the world. Unlike most people, I actually do. So here's to my schwestern! Hugs about it!

...

I love a good rainy day. Even though the leaves aren't changing colors and there's no crispness to the air outside, a gray skied day makes it feel like autumn. Rainy days also make me ponderous and nostalgic, which inevitably makes me think of the three months I spent in Europe. Over the past few weeks, I've had strong yearnings for Europe, France especially. In an attempt to quell these feelings, I watched "Julie and Julia" and cried. Yes, I actually cried. A) I rarely cry. B) I can count the number of times I've cried in a movie on one hand, and it's always been in some epic film like "Saving Private Ryan" or "The Lord of the Rings." To make matters worse, after watching "Julie and Julia," I started reading "My Life in France" by Julia Child (are you sensing a theme here?) and have cried multiple times while reading that, too! The only other book I've cried while reading is "Where the Red Fern Grows." Today in church when I should have been listening to the talks being given, I instead closed my eyes transported myself back to the top of El Duomo in Florence, the top of Guggishorn in Switzerland, the top of Dingle, Ireland, and the view of Paris from Montmatre. I could almost smell the scents I became accustomed to while living there-- the fresh baguettes at the local pâtisserie, the smell of the autumn air while I walked to the train station in the morning, and even the musky smell of the metro.... This should give you an idea of how high my miss-o-meter is running right now. My heart is aching for Europe. Anyone have any remedies besides a plane ticket back?


In other news, I am now 24. I am undecided on how I feel about really hitting the mid-twenties. There are so many things I want to do with my life but I think I've yet to really find my "calling." I went and saw "The Help" again with my aunt and cousin and as I watched, I envied Skeeter and Aibileen because they figured out their cause... their way to make a difference in the world. Since graduating from college and losing the direction school provided, I have yet to really discover my "cause" or "calling" or whatever you want to call it. I'm sure it'll come as I work towards figuring it out, but patience has never really been my strong suit. In the mean time, I'll dream about Europe.

Starting Over

disclaimer: this is not a pity-seeking post.

last night i went and saw "the help" by myself because the two people i know here (besides my family) were both driving back from houston. it is a strange feeling moving somewhere and having to start completely over as far as a social life is concerned. i haven't had to do this since i moved to utah when i was three. and at that age, you can pretty much be friends with anyone who will share their toys with you. last friday night, i went to a dallas-area YSA activity in arlington and did not know a soul. just my cup of tea, let me tell you. i made small talk with some people with really deep and interesting questions like "what's your name?" and "where are you from?" awesome. (in retrospect i am glad i went, even though it was not the funnest night of my life.) i have no doubt that i will make friends eventually through church and work (yes! i have a job!). but knowing my personality it will definitely take some time. lucky for me i don't mind being by myself.

I think I'll go to Austin

Twenty-four years ago (yikes!) come October 2, I was born in Travis County Hospital in Austin, Texas. I'd be a liar if I didn't think this was a pretty cool place to be born. It's a unique city, the live music capital of the world, home to my beloved Texas Longhorns, and makes a great backup fact for those who cringe/walk away when I tell them I grew up in Utah. Thanks to a person I've never met, I finally got the chance to return to the place where it all began after a 21-year absence. A friend of my uncle's sent us six tickets to the BYU/Texas football game, giving us an excuse to head three hours south of Southlake. To say I was excited to go is a gross understatement. Not only was I going to Austin, but I was going to be able to check off one of my lifelong dreams of going to a Texas Football game. Ideally it would have been the Red River Shootout, but I am DEFINITELY not complaining.

First, we hit up 3491 E Lake Austin Blvd apt. E-- the house where I spent my first three years of life. Then we went to the original Chuy's for some de-lish Tex Mex. I got the veggie enchiladas. Yumbalina. And then we headed to the football game here:

DK Royal Texas Memorial Stadium

sigh. Just remembering the 100,000+ fans decked out in burnt orange gives me chills. I wish I could have joined the masses but sadly, if I was going to sit with my aunt and uncle and their family, I would have to go against my true feelings and wear BYU blue. However, lest you doubt where my true loyalties lie, I wore a burnt orange t-shirt underneath my BYU shirt and was ecstatic when they pulled out the win. The marching band was fantabulous and the atmosphere of the game unforgettable.

We headed back to Southlake Sunday morning so we could get back to church, but I am definitely planning on returning to Austin sometime in the future. In summary, it was a wonderful weekend-- all thanks to a man I've never met.

For the first time since 1992, I am not starting school this fall. To say I'm going through an identity crisis is a bit of an understatement. People keep telling me that I'm lucky because I have so many options to choose from now that I'm unattached to just about everything. I'm not sure I agree. At any rate, I finally decided to go for one of those options (insert cheer here). After 20 years, I'm going back to my roots.


That's right: Texas. Southlake to be precise (about 30 minutes outside of Dallas). My aunt and uncle graciously said I could stay with them so if anyone knows of any jobs in the area, let me know! It also looks like I better give up my semi-vegetarian ways so I can indulge in some good southern BBQ. I'm excited for the adventure of a new place and new people. Plus, the average temperature in January is 60 degrees. No winter for me!