D'où viens-tu?

I am ridiculously bored at work, so what better thing to do than make a blog post? My parents and Sophie have been gone all week at a lake house in Austin, Texas so I have had the entire house to myself which is cool, minus the fact that I have to sleep in it alone. I called Jules the other day and asked what she was doing and she matter-of-factly replied, "Oh, just looking out a wall of windows over the lake." One word: rude. While I've working my patooty off by doing such things as standing on the pool deck for hours on end in the 40 degree weather and rain, other members of my family made the pilgrimage to my own birthplace and have been enjoying the sun and a lake. However, I can not complain (like I just have) as I am going to France in yes, 3 days. I am getting excited and slightly nervous as well. But the excitement certainly overrides the sheer terror of going to the foreign country of the language I claim to try and speak.

Anyway, back to Texas. Since I was little, when people would ask me where I was from, there was a constant debate in my mind whether or not to say Utah or Texas. Now, I've had numerous debates about this with my friends but I have never felt like I was "from" Utah, even though I have spent the past 16 or so years of my life in the state. Here's my reasoning: 1) I was not born in Utah and using the word "from" implies your place of birth. More importantly is point #2: I believe, whether rightly or wrongly, that the place you are "from" is where you feel at home. I have never felt like the state of Utah is my home. Yes, my parents do have a home in Utah and I feel at home within the confines of those walls, but as a whole, I do not feel like Utah has ever been my home. Perhaps it is because neither of my parents were born or raised in Utah, and as my mom admitted at least, never envisioned herslef living in Utah for an extended period of time. Perhaps it is becuase throughout my years, I have desperately tried to fight the stereotypes of a "Utah Mormon" and the meanings that term implies. Perhaps I just wanted to be different. But as I reflect on the times when I've felt the most at home, minus the memories within my own house, my mind is always taken further east. If I remembered anything about living in Texas, I'm sure those memories would be included, but as such, I have felt the most at home in Pennsylvania and upstate New York. The time spent there is perhaps the most cherished of my life. I feel so much more at home in the trees, the space, and the green than I do in Orem with everything smooshed together and the constant sound of cars. It is these feelings that have caused me to reply to the "Where are you from?" question with "I grew up in Utah." Growing up somewhere and being from somewhere, in my mind at least, are completely different. So while I probably can't claim Texas as being where I'm from, though I have a much greater affinity for Austin than Orem, nor can I really claim Pennsylvania or New York as the place where I am from, one thing is for certain: I'm not from Utah. Utah does have it's perks, most of them being of the geological variety, but besides the oustanding geological features and my friends/family, I don't think I'd miss anything else if/when I move away. Obviously, this is just my opinion and I'm sure most people would tell me I am from Utah. But I believe my heart belongs elsewhere.