Lundi

Random quirk: I hate it when there are more than 50 messages in my gmail inbox because it means I can't see all my messages at once.

Anyway, today is Monday. When my alarm went off this morning, I about threw it against the wall (my alarm also happens to be my phone, so good thing I didn't). These days, school is an anxiety-ridden aspect of my life-- more so than usual. I blame the fact that I have class more than 3 days a week and can't go to Italy on the weekends. I also blame the fact that I am discovering I'm really not very good at my chosen major and feel more stupid just about every day. But I like what I'm studying, even though I'm not good at it. Doesn't that count for something?

I was dreading today more than usual because I had an oral examination with the most feared professor in the French department (and probably all of campus). I happen to be taking a class from this notoriously difficult and brutally honest prof. Many a student has cried, thrown up, and yes, fainted as a result of the anxiety, fear, and trembling this person causes. In this professor's defense, she is an amazing teacher. Fantastic actually. I learn a lot in class but I also realize all my deficiencies, which I suppose is good even though it is also demoralizing. In approaching this exam, my thought process went from "I hope I can remember everything I've studied" to "I hope I can remember half of what I studied" to "I hope I don't start to cry" to "I hope I survive." Well, obviously, I survived, sans tears. There is a God. Better yet, while the prof was straightforward in telling me my weaknesses, she was also very helpful in giving me ways to improve. I actually came out of there with a renewed hope for the class, and life in general. And I'm wearing chacos today, which makes everything better. Here's to Monday.