...

this is the fourth draft of this post. trying to transfer my emtions into words is proving rather difficult today.

i consider myself a rather independent person. over the years, i've decided that my happiness depends on me and only me and as such, i have real difficulty investing much in other people. this is of course attributed to experiences i've had with other people. control is my safety net and its maintenance depends on my ability to maintain a safe emtional distance from just about everyone. so today when my friend l. gave me a photo album of some of my experiences from the past 5 years, i began to think about how grateful i am for the people i've encountered in my 23 years. for those 5 minutes i flipped through the pictures, looking at each of the faces of friends and teammates and remembering the moments we shared, the cage around my heart lifted momentarily. i received a reaffirmation that life has been pretty damn good to me and it has been enriched by the people in it.

i've been supported throughout my adventures by steadfast friends and family. as my next adventure begins in (gulp) 6 days, i feel incredibly blessed to have good. decent people around me-- even though i may not let them get too close.