practice makes perfect.

i truly think that just like some people are good at sports and some are musically inclined, certain people have a knack for happiness.  their minds are seemingly worry-free, things roll of their backs with alarming speed, and a genuine smile is a permanent facial fixture. 

  

 well friends, i am not one of those people.  

but that is not to say i am uhappy, because i'm not.  it simply means that it requires more work and effort for me to achieve a state of happiness than those who are blessed a more cheery disposition.  do i resent it?  not usually-- it's just the way i am.

that being said, this week has been a battle.  the opponent?  myself.  i have had no motivation to do many of the things i know help me be my happiest.  it was as if i needed to conduct an experiment to see if i could feel good without doing x,y, and z, even though x,y, and z have been tested numerous times and are known to work.  

the results of said experiment?  no. bueno.  getting out of bed every morning has been a struggle.  for at least 30 minutes after my hearing my alarm, i battled with myself on whether i should drag my body out from the underneath the covers or pull the blankets over my head to make the world disappear.  (thankfully,  each day the responsible me won.)  that's just one example.  i shall spare you any more.  

many times this week, i've wondered why i have to do x,y, and z to feel balanced and happy.  isn't there another way?  a way that doesn't require so much sweating and self-control and (any) social interaction?  i've been reminded this week that in my case, the answer is a resounding no.  

perhaps in the future, my happiness won't require so much effort.  just as a musician perfects his talent with repetition, hopefully i can perfect my recipe for happiness with continual practice.  so i'm back in the saddle, ready to give x, y, and z another go.