Reasons why.

I finished my last final exam this afternoon and besides my final photography project that is due Saturday night, I am done with school for this semester. I have to say, this was the least stressful finals week I have EVER enjoyed and I ever will enjoy. The prospect of going back to real school scares me. Let's not think about it, shall we?

I return to the good 'ol US of A in 10 days. I am excited to go home. I honest to goodness never thought I would last the entire 3 months. I remember within the first week of the program, I was looking for plane tickets home, but the 4,000 dollar price tag made staying the only option. And praise the heavens I did. I wouldn't give up what I have discovered and learned about the world and myself during this time for anything. As my stay here winds down and I reflect on the overall experience, I have been trying to think about why I have taken to Europe as I have, besides the obvious answer that Europe is straight up fantastic. I think I may have come up with a possible answer-- let me share. I will try to be brief.

I suppose the main reason I love Europe is because this continent has given me a chance at discovery- of many things. But most importantly self-discovery. I have been forced to prove to myself that I am capable of being happy in a place where, frankly, I don't really fit in, even though I would like to. I have learned a lot about the kind of person I am in the past 3 months and for the most part I've liked what I have found. Being put in a vulnerable, ridiculously scary situation such as this forced me to choose to sink or swim. My head is still above water. I have been able to stretch my ideas about the world and cultures and languages and see that yes, America is great, and I'm grateful to live there, but other places have their advantages too.

Above all, I am eternally indebted to Europe for somehow making previously discarded dreams seem possible again. It has given life to ideas I killed long ago with my supposedly realistic take on things. Throughout my life, I have been in a constant battle between what I want to think is possible (the idealistic side of me) and what actually is. Right now, I feel like I can do just about whatever I want. I don't know if it's the European air, the escape from Utah, or what, but I like this feeling. Like why can't I have some land when I grow up? And why can't I teach English in Africa? Thanks to Europe, I'm trying to get rid of my self-imposed barriers that have stunted my growth in the past.

And that friends is why I love this place and am going to miss it like a motherless child.